Mia culpa

I’m still here. My words on the page have been few and far between, and I have a good reason for it, but it still makes me feel like a hobbyist rather than a writer. I’ve been back and forth to doctors and to hospital for a couple of weeks with some pregnancy complications, but I’m glad to say that my baby is still fighting fit and growing every day. I’ve already started to feel baby move, which has been most reassuring. In order to keep this pregnancy moving forward  I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices, including walking for more than 20 minutes at a time, which cuts out shopping, exercising, travelling and gardening. Needless to say I haven’t felt like doing much writing. I’ve read a lot though, thought a lot and considered where I want this novel of mine to go. More importantly, I’ve thought about where I want my writing life to go. What it amounts to is this: I write because I love to write and it seems the more conditions, objectives and constraints I put on it, the more difficult it becomes, which makes me want to do it less.

It would seem that now is the best time to write: I have time – as much time as I want since I’m not allowed to lift so much as a broom – I have all the tools required to write, and I have the desire, yet I’ve made such a big deal out of the fact that I haven’t written any fiction in a little while that I’ve talked myself into it being a burden. Knowing the problem doesn’t always lead to a solution either. I cannot reverse this trend as easily as I started it. In essence I’ve let it go on too long and now what was initially a minor obstacle is now a craggy hill. It is all my own doing. I broke one of my own commandments of writing often and proved to myself why that commandment is so important to uphold:  the more you write, the more you write.


About Sharon

Writer, bibliophile, dreamer and student of everything
This entry was posted in ME ON WRITING, The writer and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Mia culpa

  1. Sending good thoughts your way. Take care and enjoy your downtime as much as possible. It sounds like you’ve lost the love of writing, or hidden it behind your “conditions, objectives and constraints”. I say, let all that go and just listen for a while. This is a time to be quiet.

  2. Lua says:

    I’m very happy to hear you’re doing OK, and I hope everything will go smoothly from here with the pregnancy 🙂
    When I don’t write I torture myself constantly so I made writing everyday a habit to avoid that; I write everyday, even when I feel I’m uninspired and the words seems reluctant to find their way on to the paper, I write so I can stop torturing myself. I know writing supposed to be fun, and it is, but it is so easy to get caught up and push yourself too hard.
    It’s great that you have all this time in your hands to read & write so I say, enjoy it 🙂

  3. heather says:

    Oh so glad you are ok. Read my post on removing barriers and procrastination. I’ve included a writing exercise which might be helpful (or not). You are doing the very important work of growing a baby. It changes everything. Be kind to yourself. Peace. Heather

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