I don’t whaaaaanna . . .

I don’t feel like writing, but I’m going to anyway. This might have something to do with the fact that I was curled up on the sofa “watching” TV until 5:30 this morning. I ended up going to bed with a headache and endured a further half hour of hallucinations because I was exhausted – I saw a semi-translucent spider hanging above my head and my husband’s dressing gown started moving of it’s own accord, which I can assure you is not as entertaining as it sounds. When I closed my eyes I saw shapes and colours that made no sense and every little sound was a mini explosion in my brain. I’m not crazy, at least not in a clinical sense; I suffer with insomnia and have difficulty falling and staying alseep. It’s been a long time since I had a full night of unbroken, quality slumber and when you don’t have it regularly it becomes the holy grail.

Fatigue affects your brain in the most bizarre ways.  I haven’t found a way to harness the side effects of fatigue and I’ve yet to see the benefits of insomnia, other than more time to write. Mostly a bad night puts me off my game for a couple of days and I find myself becoming resentful of the writing process. But I know if I stop writing it will be so much harder to initiate the process when I do feel up to it. The result is rarely award winning and sometimes my ramblings make no sense, but I keep writing to keep the creative joints moving.


About Sharon

Writer, bibliophile, dreamer and student of everything
This entry was posted in JOURNAL ENTRY, ME ON WRITING and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I don’t whaaaaanna . . .

  1. insider53 says:

    I have suffered with insomnia for years and it sucks. You have my sympathy. I have never hallucinated though even after 4 days with either no sleep or only 1 or 2 hours a night.

    • thesunlitdesk says:

      Four days without sleep, I feel for you. My mother says I’ve always been susceptible to hallucinations on account of my overcharged imagination. I’ve always had vivid dreams, so I liken them more to waking dreams – it doesn’t sound so nutty when described that way.

  2. You might be like me. My best ideas are first thing in the morning, and I jump out of bed to jot them down before they get away.

    Sometimes though, I wake up in the middle of the night. My wife says I write in my sleep. I guess it just breaks through and wakes a body up.

    Dr. B

    • thesunlitdesk says:

      I’m envious of anyone who can jump out of bed in the morning. I’m more like the creature that crawled out of the sea – a little curious, a little confused, but mostly feeling very heavy. I know what you mean about the morning rush of ideas though. Perhaps the brain is at its best then.

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